I don't want to see
And I don't want to talk
Every sense and sound
Tears at my heart
And puts cracks in my sanity
Which is fragile already
It's the little things
Don't suck out my soul this time
I don't have time to recover
The world moves too fast for us
Weak minded and tender
And I'm not strong
At least when I'm alone
Because reasons don't exist anymore
The world is just awful on its own
It sucks you in
Makes you drown
Gasping
Shaking
Let me just close my eyes
And feel nothing
Morals are pictures pasted on the wall
Something to stare at but not real anymore
Moments are lived out drowned out and replaced
A black and white face
You will never truly know
What happened that day
I wish I could forget it all
Just walk away
But it is a weight I carry everyday
And I can't drop it or let it go
The price I pay for going insane
Once it's in your head
You can never have a moments rest
The darkness eating
Never leaving
Your healthy mental state is dead
And you feel so alone
Even though you know
Who else has fought the battle
The lifetime death wish
For simply caring
Too much
No there is no cure
After you purge
You've released an inner beast
It will stay in your soul
Firmly take hold
Until you no longer feed it
I don't want to see
And I don't want to talk
Every sense and sound
Tears at my heart
And puts cracks in my sanity
Which is fragile already
It's the little things
Don't suck out my soul this time
I don't have time to recover
The world moves too fast for us
Weak minded and tender
And I'm not strong
At least when I'm alone
Because reasons don't exist anymore
The world is just awful on its own
It sucks you in
Makes you drown
Gasping
Shaking
Let me just close my eyes
And feel nothing
Morals are pictures pasted on the wall
Something to stare at but not real anymore
Moments are lived out drowned out and replaced
A black and white face
You will never truly know
What happened that day
I wish I could forget it all
Just walk away
But it is a weight I carry everyday
And I can't drop it or let it go
The price I pay for going insane
Once it's in your head
You can never have a moments rest
The darkness eating
Never leaving
Your healthy mental state is dead
And you feel so alone
Even though you know
Who else has fought the battle
The lifetime death wish
For simply caring
Too much
No there is no cure
After you purge
You've released an inner beast
It will stay in your soul
Firmly take hold
Until you no longer feed it
I could feel it eat away at me on the inside.
My hate.
My need to end.
It's irrational, yet it plagues me every day of my life.
In a single second of "alone-time,"
When I have nothing keeping me distracted,
I reflect on my existence.
I think of my friends.
I think of the distance I created in the past year.
I think of how I no longer am part of their social gatherings.
I think of the happiness they have that I do not have a grasp on.
I think of my family and their achievements
I think of how disappointed they would be in my own.
I think about my past relationships,
Or my lack thereof,
And how I struggled in vain to keep feelin
People have always told me I am a good writer and I am. The past 2 years have been very sporadic I am trying to find my muse. I am trying to get back into writing regularly again. I need to regain my flow. All the ideas are floating around in my head but they don't come out as smoothly as they used to. Bear with me. I also have a tumblr, which is quite different than this, but you can ask for it.
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Ani Difranco, Pink Floyd, LIGHTS, Savoir Adore, Leonard Cohen, Cat Stevens....umm hard to choose
Favourite Books
Phantom of the Opera, Cather in the Rye, Harry Potter (obviously) I'm always reading so this can change